Damn you MTV,
Here I believed my Awkwardness was alluring and cool. Obviously not the case.
Tonight I went to a book reading by Touré for his new work Who’s Afraid of Post-Blackness. I’ve been fascinated by him since I watched America VS Hip Hop on BET, and the summer of 2008, I read Never Drank The Kool-Aid. I think I look up to him, something I just realized by writing this post. As I try to figure out to connect my varying interests, Touré seems to have figured things out.
When I tried to explain to my work colleagues who Touré was and what he writes about, I just spat out a long list that left them more confused than before. One colleague asked me what his position was on pop culture, and I don’t think she liked that I said it differed depending on any given topic.
So where does my awkwardness fit in? Well, with a book reading comes a book signing. My mind had a long list of things to say, possible conversation starters while he signed my book. In line my conversation with a friend was flowing freely, then, I got to the table and it seemed like someone turned off the faucet.
Blank stare
Didn’t know what to say. I got my book signed did the normal. Hello, name is, pathetic small talk, thank you, smile.
I honestly imagined my first encounter with Touré a little differently. In my head I was about to turn into this charismatic, witty being….dreams….
Reality was not as exciting, actually not exciting at all.
I’ve come to the public announcement realization, that I am just an awkward person, and I should embrace it for all it is worth.
Pot of gold for this story…. I got my book signed 
Maybe in my next life, or the next time I meet Touré, I’d have developed some charm!
