Why I will NEVER Party With Southern Africans Again- Pt 2

“On a scale of 1 to feet, where is your conversation?”

When the after party takes you from Manhattan to Brooklyn, game over, you are not catching your bus home in 3 hours, heck, you might not even catch your bus until 3 days later!

After the Mzansi in NYC party, we spilled into the streets, and I realized the hardest thing to tell a Southern African is “The party is over”… Hearts were broken. I stood outside, not really sure what I was going to do for the next 3 hours before my bus ride back home.

I followed my nose to the most delicious smelling bacon known to man kind. Guys, I don’t think you understand how good that bacon smelled! Like we actually went into the deli and asked the man to give us $5 worth of bacon, plain bacon!  Still warped in the Bacon’s spell, I made the look back at your life, this is where you should have gone right decision and allowed my friend to usher me into a cab to the BK.

Next thing, I was in a strangers house, with more than 7 other strangers, and 3 familiar faces. A collection hat was passed around, malt purchased, and my hostage soon ensued. We laughed, danced, freestyled (Let’s be honest, I observed and was a semi-recipient to this)  and soon forgot we were strangers. As the evening/morning progressed people started dropping like flies, and I, thinking I was on Survivor for some monetary gain, stayed awake until 4pm.

Leaving at 7am soon turned to 10, turned to 1pm, turned to 10pm, by midnight, I was in the same house! Paralyzed by malt, fatigue, and the devilish allure of my new found compound. I even lied to myself and called a friend on the outside, and asked if she wanted to meet. Who was I kidding? I was in the same clothes as the night before trying to head out to the Village.

That night, we became too comfortable with each other, and our conversation reached a lowest of lows….. Feet… People, in 2012 we must respect conversation enough to not devote a whole period of thought  to our lower phalanges!

Day 2 in the house, we lied to ourselves again, and no one left. Actually that is not true. After nap rotations, talking, and getting to know people better, we left the house, but not each other. We went ALL the way to Queens for a chisa nama/BBQ – we were not serious about life. Neighbors were confused, like what kind of party begins on a Sunday night? At this stage we were wounded, I felt like the people I saw sitting at Sullivan’s, we had nothing left to prove,  yet we were forcing it.

We eventually got back home ( I even called this place home, it was serious) , and I against rotating who slept on the bed when, decided to take some part of my life back in my hands, and forced us to economize the bed. We got to a point were things I should not entertain became comic fodder i.e:

* I think at this stage I should mention I do not condone ANYTHING Malevin says, but the combination of stories, justifications, methods and Engrish in this clip, you laugh at your pain *

What can I do? Monday came along, and I decided to take life back into my own hands. I was leaving, Mary I’m leaving, I’m going, Thabu Mombeki is going to be President, I’m leaving!  They didn’t believe, but as I grabbed my bag,  with a change of shoes, ipod, ipod and phone charge, and make-up essentials. I left the compound. I went back to real life, where responsibilities exist. I felt like Woody in Toy Story 3, when he leaves the squad to be with Andy *don’t ask questions*

I eventually made it on that bus back to Boston, and reflected on the weekend before. Glad to have experienced it, smirked at all the foolery, side-eyed myself, laughed at our lack of sense, and was happy to have met the people I did. For everything else, there is no mastercard…my lips are sealed!

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Your Momma!

South African’s love laughing at the expense of our government and politicians. We laugh at our pain, but like Your mother jokes, it does hurt when some else jokes about it.

Over Christmas I discovered Mdu Comics, thanks to the company I keep *sigh*

As simple, and un-pc, as this clips are I laughed so hard. As they say, humor doesn’t translate well, so I apologize that you may not get the joke..shame you’re missing out..any way

Here are some about the ANC, the first gay couple on South African television, and Skin Bleaching

Wednesday We Play With Fire

Give a lady a camera, bored teenagers on an idle Wednesday evening, and a wonderfully placed soundtrack…you get this.. impromptu gold

Filmed by Karoline K Andersen (follow her on twitter @karolinek)

It’s Here!

No words can surmount the happiness I feel in knowing that the 201o World Cup in South Africa is near! I remember seeing the draw and hearing the WHOLE Saint Micheal’s Hostel go up in roars. Now the time has come for people to see what I have been bragging about for years. One of the most beautiful places and people in the world… South Africa! The world is watching, and I am not afraid to show case it!

Woza 2010 Woza

P.S. it was brills for the kid to ask for Henry’s shirt 😉

Funny as hell!

For sure wasn’t expecting that

Barclays Premiership 2009/2010

And so the mayhem begins. This weekend (August 15 2009) has kicked off the official English Premiership league, and we are in for a BUMPY ride. Clubs with the biggest headlines thus far:

Manchester United (aka MANUre) sold Christiano Ronaldo and Bought Michael Owen. Prediction for the league, still strong contenders no worries.

Chelsea still got the big buck still the jerks. If there is one team and one group of supporters I dislike the MOST it would be Chelsea hands down! They are pompous fools really! You bought your way to the top taking already well established players and coaches to get you there…and really you want to brag now? really? At the end of the day I’ll swallow my pride cause they most probably will continue to kick ass this season

Liverpool: the only “big” team I have NO problem with. I respect them fully! Play well develop your players, classy overall! I think VERY strong contenders for the title. 

Manchester City: Its amazing what money can do for a football club now a days! Still bitter that you took my boys, but hey let bygones be bygones! Good luck with your season! Cant wait to play you and thank you for completely changing the EPL, we needed it! 🙂

Arsenal: You have been written off from the get go! I love you, cant support any other EPL or any league for that matter, as much as I support you. It has been an amazing 6 years and I more than look forward to continuing the journey with you. We have had our ups and downs, the ups were high and the lows were slightly suicidal (figuratively speaking). We have lost a few (lots) of players over the year and this summer was no different. Get ’em boys